Eating When I Was a Kid....

by: John Shapiro

[reprinted from Dec. 2009 Editorial Cruisin' Times Mag.]

I remember going trick or treating (back in the day).  You knew all your stops and you knew all the parents, which in turn knew you.   There was Mrs. Russell who knew I liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  “Hi Johnny, I knew you’d get hungry on your trick or treat route so I made you a little something!” I, of course had already eaten, my Mom made sure of that and didn’t she know we were getting tons of candy?  But there was something about gobbling down that sandwhich before we hit the next house.

Old Mrs. Thomelson used to invite us in to have home made candy apples.  Not everybody got invited in.   The funny thing was, when I got home, my Mom used to say, “Did Mrs. Thomelson give you a candy apple and did Mrs. Russell give you a sandwich?” Now how did they know that?   There were no computers back then.

Even if it weren’t Halloween,  back then, all the moms had peanuts in there homes served out of official Planters Peanut containers or  Mr. Peanut bowls,  now everybody is scared to death of the peanut epidemic.

My favorite candy bars back then was the Clark bar or Zagnut.  I wasn’t a fan of 5th Ave, but loved the name.  I really wanted the 5th Avenue candy bar to be good.  I gave it plenty of chances too.  I’d buy it, then wait a couple of years thinking I got a bad batch - but it never got any better.  In fact the other day when we visited B.A. Sweetie on Brookpark Road I bought some of the candy including a 5th Ave. it still hasn’t gotten any better.

One that used to taste good was the Skybar. I bought one the other day, and it was awful.  I really liked the wrapper and the different falvor choices.   I guess they’re right when they say, “Things don’t always stay the same!”

Remember the commercial for Chunky?  “What a chunk of chocolate” which was done by famous character actor Arnold Stang.  He was the guy who wore those huge horn rim glasses and spoke with a Brooklyn accent.  I met him a few years ago and asked to him to say “What a chunk of chocolate”. He said “Screw you”, but it was in that same voice and I couldn’t help laugh - then I went out and bought a Chunky!

Then I found the Cadberry Fruit and Nut bars and have slowly been buying those to replace the Chunky ‘cause it’s softer on the teeth.  We live not far from a CVS (who doesn’t).  It’s roughly 2 miles and I was jonesing for a candy bar and ate the entire thing before I got home, ‘cause I didn’t want my wife to find out.  I gotta start remembering to throw the wrapper away before I get home, though.

The thing I remember about eating as a kid was the 1/2 sandwiches.  Do moms still offer visiting kids 1/2 sandwiches anymore?  These are not cut in half sandwiches, but one piece of bread splattered with PB&J and then folded over so we could “eat and run”, no napkin, no paper plates.

Just before we hit the door, she’d say (with the already prepared 1/2 sandwich in her hand...)  want this one to put in your pocket??  Sure Mrs.B!  We always referred to our buddies moms as Mrs. B or Mrs. S. (what ever the first letter of the last name was.)  Imagine a 1/2 PB&J hiding out in your pocket for a couple of hours, then imagine your mom discovering the remnants.

PB&J sandwiches are great, but I like to get a box of crackers, a jar of PB, some Grape jelly, a knife and your favorite pop, hey, even Rachael Ray agrees!  First, you get a good ‘ol movie going, preferably a "B" grade hot rod movie (Gila Monster, Drag Strip Hollow or the Maltese Falcon)...  then cross your legs, line up the crackers along your leg, then one by one, spread some peanut butter on each cracker, followed by trying to spread a small “dollop” of jelly.  The game is, can you finish eating a goodly amount before your leg falls asleep and you start getting that tingling feeling without getting any secret jelly spills on your shirt.

Danty Sandwiches. Why was it that whenever my Mom’s lady friends would come over they served sandwiches without the crust and they were cut in triangles.  Does anybody do that anymore?

There used to be the big three sandwiches: Chicken salad, Tuna salad and Ham  salad. When was the last time anybody asked for a ham salad sandwich, what the heck is goin’ on?

As you know, Fried Baloney sandwiches were another favorite of mine.  I see often see Grilled Cheese, but why is it that restaurants don’t offer fried baloney or PB & J as a regular staple to their menus?

I asked for a PB&J the other day and the waitress smiled and then I could hear her in the kitchen, “Some old guy wants a PB & J, can you believe that - do we have to get him to sign something saying if he’s alergic to peanut butter or something?”

Christmas was always good for eating.  Actually I wouldn’t call it eating, it was more like sampling.   You’d be walking down the street and Mrs. Russell and Mrs. Tomelson would stop you and invite you in to get your Christmas present, which was a small tin box of handmade cookies.  There was something about tin boxes that made those cookies taste even better.   I wonder if people still do that anymore?

I know one thing they don’t do anymore, that’s wish people a Merry Christmas.... so here's wishing you a Merry Christmas...

...‘course that’s just me, randomly speaking!

John Shapiro, editor

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